Going over a few pieces from my distant past, comparing and contrasting them to my more recent work, I am pleased at some of the growth evident in much of my writing. My work is now more concise. My language is less flowery. I have dropped a few bad habits and stylistic foibles.
For instance, it's apparent I once used a whole lot of he saw, she heard, I think--unnecessary constructions that hamper the focus on the point of view, disconnect the reader from the character, and damage the flow of the narrative. Also, I often fell into the pretentious trap of choosing stilted, seemingly impressive synonyms when a simpler word would have been more appropriate, more effective, more powerful. Contrived plot points, lazy escapes, and shallow characterizations marked much of my prose--and even many of my poems!
Indeed, I read back and wonder: How could I have ever written such drivel?
Nevertheless, I am thankful.
I am thankful that every old piece of writing was--and is--a learning experience.
I am thankful to reflect and to recognize growth and to have the opportunity to keep improving.
I am thankful that every word helps pave the path of progress.
And I am thankful that most of those old pieces were never published!
I could "plaster the walls" with rejections slips: scores of standard form rejections from Realms of Fantasy and Asimov's and so forth, along with the periodic encouragements from Van Gelder. Each rejection was a disappointment when I received it. Soon, though, they would all transform into an incitement to do better.
Yet, as keenly as I ever wished for my writings to be published, I'm glad now that they weren't.
Once a piece is published, that's it. It's finished. The words remain on the page.
So now, each and every one of those rejections has come to serve as a preservation from embarrassment.
I shudder to think of anyone ever reading my early work as I originally wrote it.
Yet, a handful of those old pieces just might be worth revisiting and revising. If I do end up submitting a few rewritten works, I sure hope I can avoid being thankful ever again for their rejection.
